As much as I have been wanting to contact my XW I have done well to not....But, I had to contact her regarding a brother of mine.
Background-My brother is the true black sheep of the family. Trouble with the law and drugs. He recently went missing for 16 days. Has resurfaced on the 18th day so all is ok as far as he is alive.
I sent the wife an email stating that he was missing. She called me right away. We talked about this situation and reviewed what my options of finding him were. Everything she mentioned I had already done. About 15 minutes into the conversation, she asked how I was doing and I paused (running through all I have learned of the do's and dont's and advice from all you good people) and blurted out an I'm ok (which was a much better response than I feel like S#!t as I do). She responded with a hesitant I'm doing good to my concern of her well being but she sounded sad. She asked about a part time job that I had worked while we were married and I was going to school that she just hated. Bartending (a 180 here). I told her the owner has asked me to cover about 7 or 8 shifts these past few months but I told him I just couldn't do it. She asked what else was going on in my life and I told her well there are lots of changes but didn't have much time to talk about them right now.
There are several 180s I have done but didn't know how to get to them in the conversation without screaming look at me!
I left a message for her last night that just said my brother has surfaced.
She sent me an email today saying she was glad to hear it then asked several questions that played right into my 180s.
I recently had a physical and have lost a lot of weight (dieting and stress) that I needed to because I was bordering on typeII diabetis and elevated cholesterol. She told me the doctor called and left a message that my blood work looked much better than last time and to keep up the good work.
She also asked asked again about the bartending job and if I hadn't been working it because I was too busy with other things. I emailed back and said, No. Not to busy to work at the bar. I lied to the owner and told him I was busy. Only took the job the first time to help pay for the family room. There were some "I" issues. I wanted to pitch in, I wanted to pull some of the financial weight we were getting in. I was good at the job and it was a familiar enviorment. I've tried to explain it before. I didn't take the job thinking it was for me and to have fun. Just wanted to do my portions and be part of the team. Even the second time it came up, I had just been layed off and was between positions with current job. From the tone of your voice telling me to get on unemployment I assumed/was sure we were still well strapped and only mentioned it as a financial option while I waited to start here and have the unemployment kick in. But now, knowing how much damage it had done and understanding the reasons, I just can't do it anymore. Tommy (bartender) called me a while back and he was pretty sick. I went to help him out but after two hours, I called Ana (bartender) to come take over for me. I couldn't be behind the bar anymore.
She emailed back and just said interesting. She told me she was going out to see her folks and signed off with a "talk soon"
Not sure what that means either.
Another thing I have done to occupy my time is signed up to take a motorcycle riding class and get my lisence. Starts next Tues.
Still feel I am hoping to much and fighting to get up off the ground but I think I am getting there.
Jak466
Jak466
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
Del Griffith: Yes sir. Yes. Yes I do. I mean she may not look like much but she'll get you where you wanna go.
