Hi J - given the sitch, I'd be inclined to try to get some help in so you can work a little (not too much - but just enough to keep your hand in and your name out there). SO just seems so unstable still, and the power dynamics of the R change when you are totally financially dependent on him. I know from experience it's hard to work when you are getting up at night with a baby, so I wouldn't take on too much - but just enough to keep you connected.
Maybe SO will surprise you and be happy about going back to work full time. It doesn't really seem as though he's organized his life all that well these last two years, does it? Perhaps he'll be secretly relieved to be back in that routine.
Is your mom going to be staying with you? Be careful about space and boundaries. My H's stepmom came to stay with us when my oldest was born. Although we were grateful for the help, my h really resented the intrusion on our privacy as a couple and new family.
I do think he's secretly relieved to be going back, but that won't stop him from blaming me when he comes home exhausted and cranky. I will work - I can't avoid it as I won't be asking him for money for things like clothes and things I need for myself - he'll just be bearing the brunt of "family" expenses. I honestly think he's going to feel a sense of purpose as a provider (unless he goes the other way and starts resenting that I'm not contributing as much!).
My parents are going to be staying in one of the other apartments in the house, which is ideal - they're two floors away but not in our apartment. My mom is coming for three weeks and my dad will probably stay a week. They are young and fun to be around - lots of laughing and joking - so S. is usually in good spirits around them. He's really enjoyed the last two Christmases in Ga., and has agreed for us to go down again this year, which is really so very important to me. But I will definitely watch for signs of parent fatigue and try to keep some time for ourselves.
I do want to work, and will need, as you say, to keep my name in the hopper, though by all accounts my clients are going to be hovering like vultures until I say the word, when they'll pounce back on me and try to usurp all my time. I had one client send me a proposal to start taking work back in November, after I'd said January at the earliest. So I don't think there will be a problem getting work, just keeping it manageable! Two of my major projects are still going to be in progress through the spring.
I am scrambling to get my projects in order and memos written to people who are taking over in my stead... I had originally said today was my last day, but a nasty cold kept me under for about five days and now I have to work through the weekend into Monday and probably Tuesday. Then my mom gets here, and no more! The upside is, I've already made more money than I did last year, and I didn't start working until late February (after the fated Chile trip), and I'm stopping in mid-October. The downside is, I've done nothing but work since late February.
Anyway, folks, time for a nap! I am sorely sleep deprived.
Happy Monday Jennifer NG and I made a pact to start at 5 am today just so we can clear a bit more of our backlog and enjoy a lunch date at a pub near us. I am thinking of your projects as baby's arrival looms closer. From the little experience I have had of friends and siblings with babies, it seems like most people change their stance once the offspring is actually put in their arms. I would expect SO is no different.
NG and I made a pact to start at 5 am today just so we can clear a bit more of our backlog and enjoy a lunch date at a pub near us. I am thinking of your projects as baby's arrival looms closer. From the little experience I have had of friends and siblings with babies, it seems like most people change their stance once the offspring is actually put in their arms. I would expect SO is no different.