I just wanted to thank you so much for all the valuable input. I am still working 7 days a week, and so my ability to keep up with all of you is severely hampered (hey, hampered rhymes with Pampers!). I just wanted to say thank you for putting up with my take-take at the moment and coming to my aid when I need you.
Thanks, Ellie - you're right. I need to Act As If a LOT better than I'm doing. And Koshka, you remind me that even if what you say is wishful thinking, I can certainly Act As If the R is strong under the superficial tensions.
Unfortunately, one of our biggest tools is missing at the moment (I hope it's just fot the moment - otherwise, I'll go nuts). S. is looking at me as very pregnant / almost Mom now, and the ML fairy cow has, sadly, left this dairy farm. ML used to be a way for us to connect, and even when things were bad, ML was very intimate and soothing for us. Now, we don't have that, much to my chagrin. It's been a struggle. I bring this here not to give you TMI, but to add another dimension to what is going on. I suppose we need to come up with new ways to be intimate, and to his credit, S. has been using the labor massage techniques we are learning in childbirth education class to give me some nice touch when we tuck in for the night. Of course, I shower the gold stars. But I feel that our intimacy nevertheless has waned considerably, and it's been hard to cope without the ML tool in our belt (not to mention, it's downright frustrating for me, because I'm still feeling quite frisky and it's hard not to take his disinterest personally). We've talked about it, and he feels it's "not appropriate for him right now," and yes, he knows it doesn't harm the baby, etc., but he just isn't feeling it. Sigh.
OK, enough about that. I need to get back to work. I worked all weekend and sent off 64 reading passages this morning at 7:30. Yikes. It's going to taper off soon, I keep telling myself. It's going to taper off soon.
Not to get too graphic here, J, but will he allow you to perform oral sex on him? That might be a way of keeping him bonded/connected, although I know it doesn't do much for your own needs. Some guys do get into that funny space where they can't see you as a sexual object when you're really pregnant - hopefully that won't extend into after the baby is born.
You also might try seducing him in the middle of the night when he's asleep - once he wakes up aroused, he may not be as inhibited.
I just wanted to let you know you have given me a lot of encouragement over the past couple of days. I've read several of your replies to RobinB, whose sitch is a lot like mine. She has asked several of the questions that are currently popping up in my head and your replies have been very helpful. I just wanted to say thanks and I plan on reading your personal sitch today. I hang around Newcomers. My sitch is Scared and Confused.
I just wanted to say hi and tell you how impressed I am with your WOA. My H doesn't think he's a WOA guy but he so is. I need to pick up more tips from you. I keep thinking that I will sound insincere but I'm sure it's worth putting in the effort.
Yes, make sure you GAL. By the way, are you prepared for S to be exhausted after labour? My H always reacted as if he'd gone through as much as I had. Tiny baby times are inherently stressful--I think. Make sure you do have support from others as S (if he is anything like many Hs I know) will not be able to do as much in the nurturing department as you might need.
I still love reading your posts. I've said it before but I'll say it again: you write so beautifully and honestly.
Wendy
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
this is the fastest pregnancy I've known - it seems like minutes ago that you posted the happy news. FAB work on the spinach tart. before I read ellies suggestion to the ml fairy I was thinking how about you giving him a massage, starting off in a sort of non sexual manner. I realise giving out this sort of thing when you feel you are the one needing the pampers is a bit of an effort but perhaps worth a go, or perhaps talking about things you'd like to do can fire his desire.
I just finished reading through your earlier posts and I am so impressed with how you handled your DBing and getting your R back on track. You really went dark. I just can’t believe how well it worked. I hope I will have the strength to do the same. I plan to follow the rest of your story b/c it is so encouraging.
Jennifer - a big thank you for your advice and support today. The posts from Scotti, amd, dmb and yourself made the day a whole lot better than it could have been.
J - enjoy your last days of "portability" - no diapers, no bottles, no crying in the night - just this friendly creature rolling around in your belly. I remember
A quick update to say I'm still pregnant, feeling great (except for a head cold), and no sign yet that the baby is coming at any moment, though the due date is fast approaching.
Things at home are rocky, but we've had some good moments of closeness. Our big news is, S. was offered his job back (he quit 2 years ago to pursue personal projects and has been freelancing for them 2 days a week ever since) and has decided to go back full-time for a while to build financial reserves. It's a change - I was expecting him to be home with me so I'm able to start working again in January (part-time from home), but it looks like I'm going to be more reliant on him to support me, and he seems to be OK with that. I'm still anxious about it, mostly for reasons like wanting emotional (and physical) support from him, but also because I'm going to need my own money, but we will certainly talk about getting some help for me a few hours a day if I decide I really need to get back to work.
I'm concerned that he is going to blame me for having to go back to work, because he did quit to pursue his dreams of a more artistic life, but I just have to take it as it comes and try to stay on the path. His problems seem to all be my fault these days, and I'm dodging the blame as I can, validating when I can, and occasionally breaking down into a sobbing mess, but hey... I'm pregnant! I'm allowed to do that.
In other news, we're going to get a new car this weekend, which is exciting, along with a carseat for Little One. My work is winding down (after this weekend), and so I will be able to concentrate on unpacking, organizing, and getting ready for my mom, who comes Wednesday, my dad, who will come when we call to say it's time, and the baby, who will come when she deems fit.
I'm so excited, nervous, everything else... and ready for motherhood. It's going to be the most amazing thing, ever.
