Hi Stubborn, I don't mind the hand-holding, or the loud affirmations of Daddy to baby. I guess I'm needy in my own ways, and I shouldn't begrudge or judge someone else's neediness, though my wicked side thinks it's awfully childLIKE (I narrowly avoided childISH) to want someone to watch you - reminds me of my sister's (step)kids at the pool: "Daddy, watch this! Daddy, watch me jump! [Sister's name], look at me do a handstand! Watch me do a flip! I can jump really high, watch!" ad infinitum. But I can also recognize that there is a deep wound under there somewhere - somewhere he did not get the attention he needed and is stuck somewhere in the "Look at me!" phase of childhood. I see it in the connection he has with my FF with whom I feel he acts inappropriately sometimes - he wants to show her everything he's made, like a little kid showing off his latest coloring book endeavor (Look! I can stay in the lines!). If I can swallow my distaste for a 41-y-o man acting like a 5-y-o (and I can, to a point), then I can give him what he needs, and maybe even what he needs to move beyond the phase entirely.
Slowly, I hear ya. Sitting idly by sometimes makes me nuts. I've learned, though, that a warm body is often all it takes, and if the warm body happens to be quietly engaged in something else, like reading or working a crossword puzzle, then it doesn't take away from the QT.
Desdamona, welcome to my thread! Thank you for coming over. It is sort of like together but separate, isn't it? Working on laptops, but working on different things; or reading the paper together, each engaged in his own section; or sitting in chairs in the loving room, one quietly reading while the other scratches away at the crossword. I think al ot of people's difinition of QT is different, though. Does your H say what it means to him?
I had planned to update post-T, but I'll do that later. I'm exhausted from all the working and emotional turmoil, and feeling a nap coming on.
