You asked about what I was trying to say in your previous thread when I said to put the snooping aside and judge S's actions as if you had no "snooped" info.
The picture I see is one of a guy trying to eat cake. He has one foot in the R with you, not yet in an M with you, and one foot somewhere else. Whether it's Swiss Miss, or NY's finest twenty-somethings, there are never two feet firmly on the ground next to you.
I get the feeling that S will let you make decisions, "suffer" in silence a while, and then ??? He was part of the agreement that contact with Swiss Miss was to be limited to telling her about you, your R, your baby, etc. Now it's "too controlling?" Yeah, like I was too controlling when I kept asking that STBXW stop working at the market with OM-0 from 2002. (She did stop, a few weeks after he was fired, and a few weeks before hooking up with OM-1 last summer.)
What would you tell a friend? If your friend was carrying a baby and the father was acting as S is acting, had a track record like S has (good and bad), what would you tell this friend when she gets upset over her sitch and the father's seeming indifference to her feelings? From where I sit, S seems indifferent to your feelings now, as you carry his child and he chafes under the "burden" of cutting inappropriate Rs.
I guess I'm encouraging you to detach a little and look at your sitch from a step or two back. With his partner six months pregnant S needs to show in consistent action what his plans are. I get the impression his consistent actions show he plans to stay on the fence. If he were my friend, I'd give him something like the talk Merrick mentioned.
Whatever he chooses, I'm sure you will be a good Mom for your daughter. You're a smart, strong, good person. She's gonna like that.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
