1) If you and S get married, there will always be outside threats to your M, not just Swiss Miss, even though she's a convenient fantasy an ocean away. The issue then becomes not the motives of the outside party (I wish I had a dollar for every DBer who trusted/knew the OP), but the actions, commitment, and response of S.
2) As for S, he didn't have to tell you anything, so I'll disagree with Betsey a bit and say there is some level of integrity and desire to comply with your agreement, regardles of what he divulged, although eh remains highly ambivalent.
3) I may ask to meet S and hit him over the head with a baseball bat and ask him to make a f%^^%%^ing choice. And you may have to lay down an ultimatum. As for $$$$ and health care, who is paying your prenatal and hospital care right now? Are you covered? I also suspect S would not want to resolve these issues with a court order.
4) The snooping may have to stop because you are setting yourself up for some serious privacy issues with S. On three fronts you are burning. The first is the knowledge you gain from snooping which will torture your informed mind; the second is witholding the fact from S that you know more of what is going on, and the third is the level of trust he will have in you when and if he finds out. S's R skill do not appear strong enough right now to treat his knowledge of your snopping as anything more than ammo to be used against you.
