You are right, I am leaning towards the second one - me moving out. I gave this idea a lot of thought last year and I concluded that I would be the one to leave if it came to that. But I did have some doubts - ie less contact with H, leaving the door open for OW to walk right in etc... But the pro's always outweighed the cons, so that's why I concluded that I would leave.
I was hoping that we could work things out without one of us having to leave, but it doesn't seem that way.
The reason I am questioning my original decision to be the one to leave is because of the scenario that H has come up with (staying with OW a few times a week etc...) This has entered new variables into the situation and made me rethink my position.
By the way, on Monday, I came up with a budget for us if I actually MOVE out. I told him that I will show it to him later, and that it is preliminary. He was taken aback and said "I thought you were just going to go away for a few days, NOT move out!?" I explained to him that I will go away for a week in sept (staying at my bro's while he and his wife are away on vacation). And then I will come back and we can discuss more permanent plans and put the new budget into effect then. He was very quiet. He has been extra touchy feely and keeps 'making out' with me for the past 2 days.
Last night he went out (with OW) but he told me when he came home that he slept in the car since he had been drinking. - Very weird since he usually just stays at her place. I don't know if he is lying or not - (there is no reason for him to since I expected him to be with her anyways) OR if he had a fight with OW. I am not going to assume anything, just act as if. I am starting to detach for real. I hope that me staying at my brothers for a week or two will give him an idea of life without me and give me a temporary break too. I really hope that we don't get to the point where I have to move out for real. But I need to prepare for that possibility.
thanks for all your comments and advice, it helps me not feel so alone.
