You might not have thought of this but have you thought of why he wants you to move out for awhile. Depending on the length of time your gone, he can claim abandonment. This might not be his idea, but I'm sure the OW is putting in her two cents worth. What this does is weaken your position in regards to shared equity and custody.
Bottom line is you need to discipline yourself, work on your problems in your own house. You seem to know what to change, get started. He is telling you what he needs, make it so. Sooner or later the other women will fade away, she will not wait long in the wings with little change or no hope. So don't "go away" for awhile, that only leaves the door open and you essentially make the tough decisions for your H. He is confused, he knows what he should do and he knows what the easy thing would be to do. Of course they are nowhere near each other. It's tough being an adult.
My suggestion is to get started again. Fix those things that are causing this problem, NO SHORT CUTS THIS TIME. It's not going to be easy and doing "your" version of what he wants is not going to solve the problem. Make him feel like a priority, but don't come off clingy. From what you have said he seems to feel he is not a priority, sort of he gets what is left over when you are done taking care of your needs.
Give these questions some thought.
What is she (OW) offering? (attention, attentiveness, focus, respect)
Why does H not see that from me? (yes old habits are hard to break, some times we have a hard time forgiving)
I'm not saying to not work on yourself and take care of yourself, but he has to feel like he is your best friend and lover. Do you see that in the way you treat him. You know his love language, dig in and do it. At least he will communicate it to you and he didn't bail at day one. Count your blessings and "get it done".
