Hey Aynesr...yea, things are good...just been taking a break from the boards for a while..sometimes I get so caught up in them and get so far behind in the rest of my life!!
Journaling....
Today is our 3 year anniversary. Earlier this week, I said something to H about us going out to eat on Wed and he said, why...I didnt say anything for while and think he figured it out, but then I just smiled at him and said, its the 28th!
The next day, he said, "so, do you not want me to go play poker on wed nite?" to which I said, "you know, I had a whole bunch of stuff planned for wed nite, but then remembered you play poker that nite, so that is why I suggested we just go out to eat. So, its up to you...I really dont mind, as long as we get to go out to eat together." (Good job ME!!) So then again tonite, he asked if I wanted him to go play poker and I said, "whatever you want, I wont be mad if you go." And honestly, I wasnt!! Now, the OLD me would have flipped out, thrown a huge fit and gotten my way..had him stay home. But thats not me anymore. I mean, honestly, look at where we were last year at this time....wooooeeeeee!! WE have come so far!! All I needed this anniversary was to have my H here, and wanting to work on this marriage with me, and I got that. I gave him a really nice card and ordered a couple sports things for him that arent here yet. He did get me a card too, nothing too fancy or full of feelings, but its the thought that counts, right???!!!
Things are slowly getting better with us. Like my subject line...its so hard to be patient, but the more I am patient, the more I am getting. I am asking for more hugs and kisses, but not too much. H is doing much better at giving them to me when I ask. He is doing little things for me to show me that he loves me w/ out saying the words. I guess thats better than him just saying he loves me and doing nothing else to show me, right?? I think the ILY will come in time....I still have not said it to H other than the night he was REALLY drunk and I am not even sure he remembers.
Right now I feel good, I feel we are making progress..slow, but moving forward. Its like we started a new R over and its better to move that slow than fast, right? Its nice getting to know my H...things I never knew or even thought to ask him..its so weird, yet so fun!
So yea, things are good. I am hoping they are good, only to get better, but good for now! And as long as H keeps making an effort, I CAN be patient!!!
