I received this in my email from marriagefitness.com:

One of the questions I'm most frequently asked is,
"How do you know when it's time to quit?"

In terms of when to give up on your marriage,
here's what I recommend.

If divorcing is a consideration for you from a
moral perspective, then before you go that route,
try first for at least one year.

Try for at least one year!

And I mean REALLY try. You can always call it
quits. You always have that option. But once you
pull that trigger, it's over. No more chances.
Your life will never be the same. Do you have
kids? If you do, their life will never be the
same.

If you end your marriage, you don't want there to
be a shred of doubt in your mind. You don't ever
want to look back and wonder if things could have
been different. You don't want to ask yourself,
"What if this...and what if that...what if I tried
this...what if I did that?"

If you have to end your marriage, you want to know
DEEP IN YOUR HEART that you did everything you
could to make it work.

If you have to end it, you want to be able to move
on with your life and into another relationship
with a clear head. You want to come to a place of
healthy "completion." THIS IS CRUCIAL! And to
accomplish this, in my experience, it takes at
least one year. I know it probably seems like a
long time, but it's an investment in the rest of
your life.

Here's the key point. Listen
carefully. It's a good investment for the rest of
your life WHETHER YOUR MARRIAGE SUCCEEDS OR NOT.
Obviously, it's a good investment if you turn your
marriage around. But if you don't, it will NOT
have been a wasted year. It will have been the
most important thing you could have done with that
year because of how your effort will impact the
rest of your life AND YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP.

I have seen too many cases of spouses ending their
marriage prematurely, and as result of not
reaching "completion" in one relationship, they
find themselves in the same situation a few years
later with someone else.

The work I do with marriage coaching clients
sometimes turns out to be more beneficial for them
in their next relationship than in their current
one.

I remember once when the marriage of someone who
registered for the Lone Ranger track of the
Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp ended in the
middle of the program. This man asked me if he
should continue with the final 3 weeks of the
program. I said, "Absolutely."

He responded, "Why? What's the point? My marriage
is over."

"You're not doing it for this marriage," I
explained. "You're doing it for the benefit of
your next one."

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that your
intention while you're working on your marriage
should be for the benefit of your life after your
marriage. Your intention needs to be to restore
your CURRENT relationship. But if you fail, your
effort will NOT have been for naught.

Bottom line is this. If you're asking, "When is it
time to call it quits?" The answer is: one year
after you think you're done. If after one year of
trying everything in your power to make your
marriage work you're still miserable, then you
should consider moving on. Until then, hang in
there and don't give up.

This topic reminds me of my situation many years
ago. I remember learning late one night that my
wife had an appointment with a divorce attorney
the next morning. We were hours from "done." Who
would have ever thought that we could turn things
around at that point?

It's NEVER too late! In fact (and here's real food
for thought), very often the turning point in a
marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom.
Sometimes it's not until things couldn't get worse
that they can get better.