Journaling:


Well, this was an good weekend. H and I went out for breakfast on Saturday morning. During breakfast, I decided to mention to H that I would like to go away somewhere the end of September or beginning of October. (Its our Anniversary, but I did not mention that was why) I mentioned maybe going up to the mts. His response...."we'll see" I hate those responses!!

Later on during the day...I decided to show him just how much I have forgiven him and so I said, "I was just thinking, maybe we could go to Vegas instead, then you could do some gambling if you wanted." (OW lives in Vegas)I didnt wait for response..think H was surprised though.

Tonite, sitting eating our supper, H asks me why I wanted to go to Vegas. I said, "well, I just thought that way you could play some poker if you wanted and I could do some relaxing." He said, "we could do that at Blackhawk here" and I said, "but there isnt whole lot for me to do it you are playing cards." He agreed with that. Then he said, "well, see if B and L want to meet us in Vegas, then we can go there. If they dont want to, we can just go up to the mts. That's cheaper anyways." WOW, what a step in the right direction!!! And to think yesterday i was having an anxiety attack becuase H said he was going to drop off movie and it took him almost 2 hrs!! I was freaking out...thinking he was somewhere calling OW...then he gets home and tells me that truck quit on him and had to have his dad come and get him...!! I freaked for nothing!! I hope I dont have to feel like that forever..I hope that someday I feel secure enough in our M that I dont have to have those thoughts anymore!