I keyed in on a sentence in your post, that you basically got out of the book you are reading
Quote: That you CAN decide to love someone and that is the most important thing you can do to keep you marriage strong.
This is also a concept that is in the 5 LL book to by Chapman. What it says to me, that a person can decide to love or not love someone. That it is a choice. I think that it goes a little deeper than that. In difficult times, it is too easy for a S to walk away. That they do have a choice to decide to love their partner, no matter what. What would hopefully come of this choice, in my mind is that now knowing that my partner as decided to love me, it is incumbent now on me to make the changes to allow that love to grow and flourish.
Obviously, what I am hoping is that my W choose to love me, and give this M another shot. And by give it another shot, I mean to deep-six the old M and R and start all over again.
“I have seen the light”. And in seeing it, can make things so much better than they were before.
Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past. – Alexa Young
