Hey Phoenix and Hope, I am trying to get to your threads to read through them, but sure has been crazy! Some days Im lucky I can get to my own!

Journaling:
Last night, H got call from ex-OW sister. (H is friends with the whole family and has been since HS) YUCKY for me!! Anyways, she called to say she just back from Vegas (where OW lives) and wants to get a bunch of people together to go back. SHE is engaged and getting married in December, and does not know anything of H and her sisters affair. HOw I found this out? Well, when H was on phone, I could tell it was not one of his friends he usually talks to by the way he was talking...so when he got off, I asked him who it was. He told me and then I asked what she wanteed. (Actually, I get along ok with her and since she does not know about the affair, I have no reason not to like her) He told me she had just got back from Vegas...and I said, "and she called to tell you that?" because it seemed strange to me...then he went on to tell me about her plans to get people together. I left it at that. Did not say another thing about it. BUT--was freaking out, wondering if H was seriously thinking about going!!! Would he invite me and if he did, of course OW would be there, because her sister and brother would be coming too!! Would he go w/out me knowing that I know he would be hanging out with OW and her family???

So, I just went on as usual with my night and H seemed to not change his behavior at all either. I guess if he had started thinking about OW, he might have seemed distant, right?? He DID go running 5 miles and stayed up much later than usual, but that could have all been something normal if I had not been reading into it.

I HATE that he has to be friends with OW family!!! Its so not fair!! I just want her out of our life forever!!!!!!! Even though when H came back..I told him that I knew he would probably always have feelings for her and I understood that..but to have to see her...

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Ok, on to another subject...I just get anxious when I think about her!!

I have decided to back off on the goodnite kisses on the cheek or any kisses for that matter. I want to see if I get some type of response from H by doing a 180 on that matter. Last nite, no kiss..just goodnite....but no reaction. I guess we will see....