Here is my last post...
One day at a time...baby steps

Here is some background on me:

Me almost 33
H 28
Aug 03- H said INILWY and that he wasnt happy.
H had EA for 6 months from April 04-Sept 04 with old HS Classmate he thought he had been in love with since HS!He traveled to Vegas every month to spend time w/ OW who was married. H was friends with them AND their entire family...they grew up together.
Sept 04 - We started our long, hard road back to US!

I took a break from the boards for about a month....tried to do this on my own...but found out..its nice to come here..if even to do some journaling and also the chance to maybe help other people out when they think that they just cant do DB anymore....that patience really pays off!!

H and I are doing so well! We are finally laughing and having lots of fun together...he is starting to relax a little more around me....like he's not so afraid to "love me" again. Believe me...its hasnt been a very easy road to where we are now...I got so frustrated so many, many times. Always thinking...."he will never give me what I need...I will be the only one who does anything in this marriage." Many times, I was at a point where I just wanted to forget this..I wanted to be with someone who wanted to touch me, to hug me, to kiss me and to spend time with me. I never thought H would get there again.

BUT he is starting to do those things!!! He hugs me...spends time with me..starts conversations with me! It is so nice...but then I want more.

There are 2 more things that I need in our M. Things that I think are very important in a M. H has still not told me, " I love you" (not for very long, long time and not since last Sept when we started to work on us) and he does not kiss me on the lips (unless we are ML). When I got give him a kiss..he turns his face, so I can kiss him on the cheek. The other morning I asked for a kiss and he came to me and turned his head so I could kiss his cheek. I just dont understand why?? I guess I will just have to be patient and these things will come?? Right?? The other things came eventually...