Quote: To this, my W would likely say any or all of the following: 1. That's just sick! 2. ...and wasteful! 3. ...and messy! 4. ...and fattening! 5. ...and you have to use it to frost the cupcakes you're going to make for DD4's treat day tomorrow, for 25 kids, that I didn't tell you that you had to do until just now! 6. ...and tongues are icky! 7. ...and that's abnormal! Married people of our age just do not do those sorts of things! 8. ...and using frosting on my body is a desecration, and symbolizes men's objectification of women's bodies! 9. ...and asking me to spread frosting on your body clearly indicates your chauvinistic desire to force me into the traditional woman's role of mistress of the kitchen! 10. ...and there are starving children in Africa! 11. ...stop pressuring me!
Phew!
I just wrote those in about 3 minutes! Must need to get some aggression out this morning. You know, that typical male aggression, driven by testosterone, the poison.
Sigh
Hairdog
I could tell you stories about how many times my W has turned down the "mixing of oral appetites" as you posted on Geek's thread. but I'm not going to.
Instead, it's like it's sunk in just how far apart you and your W are and how you keep trying to make things right and make things work. "Don't give up, don't give up?"
Instead, I'm wondering if you're ready to shake her up with a 180 or even just trying something new since what you have been doing isn't working. Would you do a 180? would you try something completely different to shake her up?
Does she come across in your R as some kind of Goddess to be worshiped from a distance? Or just someone who has real "issues" that she doesn't want do deal with?
Here's a really tough question. Don't get angry at me for asking, if you please. I wonder if you are having a real hard time with confronting her with any of the suggestions from folks here at the BB or from anywhere else in your life just because it would be too hard to stand up to and take any further rejection from her?
As for me, after all these years, I still fear the rejection and not being good enough to be worth her time. Things have gotten a lot better as time goes by, but previously injected pain DOES have a memory that can paralize us in present tense. I ask these questions from personal experience; not to get on your case.
I think all I am really trying to say here is that when we decide for ourselves that some idea that presents itself to us to try to improve our W and our R and we rule it out without trying it on her, it ALWAYS equals "nothing ventured, nothing gained." If on the other hand, we put it out there where our spouses can try to get it, we do stand a chance that they WILL GET IT. And we will connect, even if its just in a small way.
Here I am preaching to the choir, if YKWIM, "Never give up, never give up." Try something! Try something!!!
It's the weekend, HD, do somehing for the both of you that she would like.
