I know... it's a bummer. But maybe your new ability to stand your ground coupled with an awareness that what she's doing is resisting her own inner nature will cause a tiny shift in the dynamics between you two. She is at war with an internal enemy-- her own flawed, physical, less-than-perfect, needy, vulnerable humanity.
I'm reminded of that movie Broadcast News where Holly Hunter's character (also a 1) was obsessed with her work and her perfectionism. At one point she tells her boss at a party in a tactless, aggressive way how he should handle some staff issues, and he says, "It must be wonderful being the only person in the world who knows exactly the right way to do everything." "Oh no!" she wails, "It's awful!"
