Hope: Thanks for chiming in. Three or four years ago, my W said something similar to what you were saying, that she always thought that she couldn't get affection from me without it leading to sex. It wasn't true then, and it isn't true now.
We even had a period of about a month during which the MC asked us to commit to no sex, but W was supposed to be more physical (more kisses, hugs, touching). W didn't do much then, and she doesn't do much now. I get about three kisses a day, all pecks. I get to touch her non-erogenous zones while she is watching tv. She sometimes touches me in the middle of the night, again, in non-erogenous zones. It is rare that she would initiate anything more than the most friend-worthy hug, or non-threatening touch.
So if she indeed believes that touching always leads to sex, then her thinking is erroneous.
Besides pressing the issue by going to MC and by just asking from time to time (sometimes with weeks of no requests at all), I have probably been the most non-demanding person you could imagine. Without some pressure by me, I think my W would be perfectly happy with the status quo of our relationship.
But hearing stories like yours, and Chrissy's, and cinemanymph's gives me hope.
