Someone has to listen first. If you give that listening to her even though you may have MUCH MORE of a "beef" than her. It will soften her heart to be able to hear you.
But be sure you are clear about what you NEED once she is ready to hear.
I don't think you should "suck it up" and just ignore what you need, because it will distance you and cause resentment in you toward her.
But someone has to start the listening so that the blame game stops.
Bad communication hurts the relationship and then the sex life too. I'm glad if something I've had helped in any way at all. No one should live the path we have....it is way too painful!!! Avoid it, really!
May I ask how old your wife is? What your discribing isn't uncommon at all. I hope your realize that. It tends to be a time in a women's life when being a mother is the most important thing to her. She may not act it, she may pretend it's not true, but she's hardwired to put the kids first.
There comes a time in a women's life when that completely changes. It's like a switch goes off in her head that tells her sex is now really really important. The problem is that typically the H's switch was turned off for good long ago.
One of God's biggest mistakes...A male peaks at what 20, while the female peaks at 40!
Gigi
"It's not what happens to you, it's what you make of it." Zig Ziglar
NR - I thought you were married to my wife when I was not at home by the description of your life. Then when you posted her age I was relieved it could not be mine...
I'm about to be 40, she's 38. Same exact boat. She's gorgeous to me, I want no one else, I tell her, she does not hear or chooses not to do anything to make it better. I know, I'll leave, then I'll be the [censored] of the ages for abandoning my family. Go figure.
Do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB24&Number=896649&fpart=&PHPSESSID=
Well....a little update. My wife always will walk by the computer and look over my shoulder and read some of the forum. She saw my Disney post and wanted to read it. She got pissed and told me that she thought I should get a divorce if that is the way I felt. I figured she was just pissed and it would pass. Even though she got angry, I was glad she read it. The past two nights I have gotten in late due to work and travel. We have ML each night, and she has asked me if I was going to screw around on her. I think my post about 'having someone who wanted me' opened her eyes a little. She also made the comment about me making sure to post about our love making so that the others on the board would not think she was just b$4chy all the time.
God is love, love is blind, Ray Charles is blind......so there.
Re:nightrunner She also made the comment about me making sure to post about our love making so that the others on the board would not think she was just b$4chy all the time.
Invite her to post too. I think it could be explosive at times, but if each of you allows the other to express his/her feelings without being offended, you guys can make some progress. You could each learn from the other's post.
If you guys do this, the first thing you have to do is to agree to disagree. What a nice start.
