But I cant believe your H is coming out literally saying " I will make things right"...actually saying it, not just hinting. I dont know...but that seems like a pretty big step to me, but it's always good to be cautious.
But all these are just words..."believe nothing that you hear, and only 50% of what you see". Well, it's nice to hear, but I don't want to believe any or it, because I will get my hopes up and then get hurt. Guess what? H is back in town today...and he is only gonna see his boys tmrw. He is staying in a hotel. So much of wanting to make things right. And the fact that he will only come and see the boys tomorrow shows how important they are to him. It's obvious who is the most important person in his life....
I found it much easier... Yes, it is much easier with him away... for one, when I roll my eyes, he can't see it, and can't get upset. LOL. Also, I was thinking, as long as I am living in the present and not think back on all the happy times, I will be okay. It is rather difficult with him in the country now, and can't help wondering what the heck he is doing with OW. I know..don't waste my energy. In fact, I think I will get my mom to drop the boys off to him tmrw. Save me from having to see him and having any drama or emotions. Yes, think I will do that. I can always come up an excuse of me being busy or something to that extent. Really don't want to be confronted with an overwhelming of emotional charges!!!
Journalling.. H called...mumbled something, couldn't hear very well. TOld him to text. He texted "Have a dinner tonight. Call you later". I didn't reply at all. Just 5 minutes ago, H called on my mobile. I let it go on and on. Didn't want to pick up. Unhooked my home phone. Really don't feel like talking to him. I guessed I am not sad sad, just don't want to deal with an onslaught of emotions.... I'll just let him send a text to my mobile to arrange for the boys' visitation...
