Kismet...Yes, I am all over the place. I can't seem to get my DB act together. Hopefully, things will be rather calm after H leaves tomorrow.
Journalling.. H came home late again on Monday night. I texted him earlier that I wanted to clarify some stuff. He came back and gave me a peck on my cheek. I was already asleep. And asked "So, what is it that you want to clarify? Ask me! Ask me!" I was groggy and said that I am sleepy and can't ask anymore. He was still grinning ear-to-ear and said "Ask me! Ask me! Otherwise I can't sleep! I came back on purpose to ask you this. I needed to do some banking at the ATM, but I came back first". SO, I asked him a couple of NO-NO questions (in DB principles) ...like "Will you be sending her $$, did you give her a supplementary credit card? etc etc" On one part of our convo: Me: Did you spend the whole day yesterday with her? Doing all your last minute shopping? H: NO. I was not with her. Me: I don't understand you. You are leaving me for her, and you cannot admit that you are with her. H: Who says I am leaving you for her? Besides, why can't I do those things myself? Me: You were at Area SJ, and you never hang out there. OW stays there, right? H: Why can't I be in SJ? I told you OW bought a place there, she doesn't live there yet. THe place is being done up. He then went on to b&tch about his current boss. Still lading him with work on his last couple of days. Laughing and in a jovial mood. Praising himself on his ability to forecast numbers blah blah blah. I just listen like a dumb.... H then said that he had to dash to go to do some banking and gave me a peck and left.
THis morning (Tuesday), H came over and gave me a soft caress and asked " Are you okay?" to which I replied I was. And he went on saying that his flight is real early. (Told him earlier last night that boys wanted to send him off at the airport) Got up to get ready for work. S8 came in and I casually asked if he still wants to send daddy off as he would have to wake up real early to which he said YES. So, guessed we'll send H off tmrw am. Oh..H also wanted to borrow some $ from me. Said he needed some $ in Country X before his pay comes in. I just kept quiet. Didn't say anything...(I really wanted to say "no $ then why are you wanting to buy the expensive music system???? but bit my tongue!!! Good for me!! )
Anyway, H said that he will come over to my parents' house for dinner tonight since he is leaving tomorrow. BUt he will be off to a farewell drinking session after dinner. Oh well...
Oh...apparently, our friend who came over for dinner on Sat...commented to his wife that my H is really really in the throes of MLC. Never has he seen his good friend like that, sort of half ignoring him at our home and off to listen to music. Sigh! When is he gonna come out from all this??
I think overall, I see little positives. Not a lot but some.....We'll see what happens after the first week away.
Goals for TODAY & TOMORROW - To not start any R talks or any fights with H before he leaves. To make him THINK and FEEL ..."What a good, happy and warm family I have, and I LOVE them"
One Day at a TIME!!!! Be HAPPY! Be CALM! Be ME!! Patience and Perserverance!
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