Yoyo...based on the convo w/ your husband, I would say he is reacting in anger and saying things he doesn't mean. He blurted out he wanted a sep, then later comes in, says he doesn't know what he wants...he obviously doesn't really want it, but he knows he is hurting you.
I too, was tired of "yoyoing" from my H. So I told him to choose whether he wanted to be married to me or not. He said "not!" So while the "yoyo" is hard, don't give it up unless you truly are ready for whatever way it might go. I wasn't - I really thought I would just motivate him to put some effort into us, I NEVER thought he would move toward D, and that is something I will always wonder, if I had only given it a few more months.... Now, take this for what it's worth. My H asked for D in January. I said, fine, you said you wanted it, you can have it. Now he tells me 8 months later, with papers filed and only waiting judge's signature, that he wasn't ever sure he wanted divorce, but once he said it he didn't know how to take it back and now we are in it so deep that he just thinks we can't find our way back out. So he is kind of playing with me here....said he wanted it, gave me every indication he did, but wants to blame me for moving it along. (I said if we were going to D, I wanted boys settled into our new house/school before oldest started high school, so I moved away from him)
So I would not do anything....if he wants this, let him do ALL the work toward it, and if he drags his feet, then maybe he isn't so sure about it.
And you only have a few more days. I wouldn't even bring it up again. H obviously feels your "moods" are hard to handle, and probably they are - neither one of you can be expected to be at your best right now. You are in the pits right now. But when he is gone, your moods will stabilize, and his guilt will decrease since he isn't faced with your pain every day....then both of you can start to deal with each other based on the love that is still there and not all the negative emotions. Hang in there.....VJ
