VJ38, Tambo, Kismet- Thanks for your advice. Unfortunately, I was kinda depressed by MIL's comments that after our dinner last night, I was still reeling from my emotions. We had a huge big discussion/argument that ended with H asking for a legal separation. He said "I am not gonna rely my future on your moods. I want a legal separation now." I was really up in my arms and was crying and all. About an hour later, H came to bed and asked how I was. I gently and calmly (with tear still streaming down my face) told him that I will give it to him but since he wants out, he will have to do all the paperwork himself. I am not going to do all the hard work to make his life easier.
H: Sorry. I am very sorry. I know that I've hurt you.
Me: No, you don't know. If you do, and you continue to hurt me, that shows how little I am to you.
H: I really don't know what to say.
(Inside me, I was screaming "Say that you will make it all right. You @sshole!" but kept quiet! I have to say that it really hurt like h@ll tonight.)
Me: I will give you want you want.
H: How do you know what I want?
Me: You tell me.
H: I don't know what I want.
Me: You just sort out the legal documents, and send it to the house and I will read it. You propose how much you want to provide as a maintenance and your visitation. I will read and if there's anything I don't understand, I will consult someone. (H then kept quiet for a long time)
H: You going to bed?
Me: Yes
H then left our room and I went to bed. I could hear him doing all sorts of things in the middle of the night. Leaving the house at about 1.30 am, and then coming back, watching telly in our bedroom, taking out my laptop and tapping d@mn loudly on my keyboard. Don't know what he was up to..think he went to bed about 3.30am.

Next morning, he came and caressed me, and we ended up having s@x. After that, he asked if I wanted breakfast. Told him I was gonna pick up the boys (boys stayed over at grandparent's house) and then go for breakfast. Picked boys up and S8 said that he wanted to have breakfast with his dad. Called H up, and then he did join us for breakfast. As usual, he had an appointment somewhere and was hurrying us up....and now he's out.

I am sooooooo tired of all this yoyo-ing about. Yes, I agree with you VJ38 that with H and I "separated" will give us time and space to clear our heads. Perhaps allow me to go abit DARK...or not. Somehow, when H is away or when I am away, we tend to talk more on the phone.

4 more days to go....

One Day at a TIME!!
Have better Grips on my Moods and Emotions!!