Kismet - yeah... I do agree that sometimes when the WAS lies is because they think that the truth would hurt us more. I do feel the same way, ie. to tell him.."It's okay. I know the truth. I am soooo detached. You can tell me the truth!"
The problem with him bringing up the OW bit...is that everything he does it, he will say "The fact that I am telling you, means we are going to be okay". I somehow agree in a way. Before, he hides everything, and I see a shift of him telling me things and answering my questions without any hesitation (whether lies or not, that I don't know). And he does it all so calmly. No anger at all, which IS a baby step from 4 months back. Also, from some other DBers who are over at piecing...they did say that the WAS needs to condition their heads of slowly phasing OW out of their minds, and a lot of them need to do this by talking about OW to their spouses. I do sincerely hope that this is true and feel it is true.
