Kim, KDK - Don't think that my H is "afraid" of me wanting to split now...perhaps it was my fault but I have told him that I will give him up till end-Jan to decide, then I WILL decide for him then. I know it's against DBING whereby the door is kinda ajar for a looong time. I figured for me, that by end-Jan, that would be 5 months of us living apart in two different countries. So, if we are patching up... he better ask us to more to Country X or if NOT, we better just call it quits and me to confront the brutal facts that my H does not want me anymore, and build my life as a single parent. I don't see how I can go on and on like an EVER-READY battery in this sitch. So, guessed I will try to DBING as much/as well as I can for the next 5 months and see what comes out.

Journalling..
Yes, we did have our date. In the car, he was b@tching about OW's dad's music system blah blah blah and how he can't stand him. He went on "I know you sure say that you don't want to hear, but...blah blah blah The fact that I am telling you all this, means we are okay". We went for a dinner in a neighbourhood eating place, and then went home to watch a movie. On the way home, he went on about "getting a new position for OW. Coworkers said that I am so forward in recommending OW for that new position. You see, the fact that I am trying to get her a better position means she won't follow me. Blah blah blah"

Half way through the movie, he said he will go into the office to pack up his stuff (at 10 pm at night? Sound's fishy don't you think?) He came back at about 1.30 am, and said..."Oh..just grabbing my wallet...going out for drinks" and only came back at 4.30 AM!!!!

Next morning (Saturday), I went for my yoga, had lunch with girlfriends and then went for my facial (part of my GAL?!??) and slept throughout my facial treatment. Was good!!! When I came home, H was watching telly and asked:
H: Why do you look so tired?
Me: Oh..because I just woke-up
H: (???) Huh? What do you mean?
Me: I slept. And I just woke up.
H: (???? Wondering if I have slept over in some man's place??) What do you mean? (Sounding a bit anxious...he he he)
Me: (Put his misery out) I went for my facial, and fell asleep.
H sounded relieved. Ha ha ha. Anyway, we did fool around for abit . I think it's still l@st and no love yet. But he is okay in kissing me.

Later, before I went out for my dinner with my coworkers (H was staying at home to babysit the boys), we had a short R talk. I had to say that I felt quite yucky after that. He was saying things that he will miss the house, blah blah blah...he will make a difficult decision soon as he does not want to prolong all this. Anyway, when I came back home, he was downstairs and was just getting some supper. We exchanged a few words about the cheese etc and said our goodnights.

The next morning, I woke up and took the boys out. H didn't go with us. Had no interest whatsoever. I went to get my MIL. Anyway, when we were on the way home, H called and asked where we were. When we got home, H was home. I saw that he had packed most of all his clothes...emptying his cupboards. For moment, a split second actually, I did feel a tinge of sadness but it disappeared quite quickly. I have to say. In my mind, I have visions of filling up the cupboards with my stuff already. I lay on my bed and rested (cause I took boys to a mini-theme park in the AM and sat on a twirly ride which I shouldn't and gave me a bad headache). H came into the rooms and we chatted.
H: What's wrong now?
Me: Nothing..headache from the ride.
Me: All these clothes...
H: Take the clothes as any other trips that I am taking away. blahb blah blah.. Are you gonna sleep here alone, or are you gonna have the boys sleep-in with you?
Me: Alone.
H: I'll call you everynight okay?
Me: Call me and OW one after another? (I know very NO NO. And acknowledging OW...against DBING. Have to stop this!!!)
H: Yeah...hey how about a 3 person conference call.
Me: Ha ha ha. Yeah right..since you gonna say the same thing to the two women...Again, I have to say...don't give me the crap about OW not wanting to split a family.
H: (Caressed my ) Stop nagging. Want to play?
Me: No. Is this your way or shutting me up? Anyway, I wasn't nagging. I am lecturing. (LOL)
I actually asked him very calmly if he did indeed go into the office on Friday night, and if she was with him on Saturday am ( I Know..NOT very ACT As-if ), then H said:
H:If I didn't go into the office, I will have a car accident and die afterwards when I go out.
Me: (Grinning) Does that mean that the boys and I will get $$$ from the insurance? How's the $$$$ insurance provided by your company? Still on or they've cancelled it since you are leaving?
H: Cancelled.
Me: (Still Grinning) Shucks! Then better not die yet. Wait till you start off at the new company first.
H: I am not gonna. I know for sure I went into the office that night.
H also asked me why did I say that he went out with OW on Sat am? I told him that I thought that it didn't seem like him to do those things that he did without telling me. He said that he DID tell me ...blah blah blah.
Then H said you wanna have s@x. I kept quiet. He said "I'm gonna go and shower and when I am out you should be ready". Well, I was still sleeping when he came out, and he did come over and initiate it. We did I went to bed after that..yup...lovey afternoon nap. Told H to get some food for MIL and the boys. When I woke up about 4 pm, H was about to go out. SO, he's out now... gonna have dinner with some coworkers (so he says.....)

I will probably not post till Wednesday. I am off to Country X (Yes..same one as H is moving to) for work tomorrow, and H has been bugging me to "check out the cost of living". Oh well...

Anyway, I think I'll be okay....abit sad but I WILL SURVIVE. One thing that I really really need to do is to STOP acknowledging the existence of OW!!!!

STOP acknowledging OW's Existence!
Zipping Up My Mouth!!!