Seems to me like you were backsliding on purpose? I know it sounds crazy, but it's not like having these R talks is completely beyond your control... you choose to have them. So do you backslide to test H's response? Which is the predictable roller coaster of throwing the possibility of OW back at you... And now you know that he is waffling and wanting to keep both of you as possibilities (and maybe adding a 3rd in Country X?)
Anyway, you have been right to be cautious about committing to follow him, and you are right to go back to what works... going dark.
Just maybe try to figure out why you choose to backslide sometimes? What were you trying to accomplish with all those R talks? And can you get it without backsliding?
