Hi ya all....Okay, we did have the dinner "date" but I have to say that it was quite good although we were talking about US and OW the whole time. Geez! I know I know...I don't know what's with me. I just can't stop myself. My head is having all sorts of conflicts. On one hand, I am like saying "stop it! stop asking already!" but on the other hand, I am like asking and asking. And H said "Now..come to think of it, don't think I will ask you to come. It seems rather unfair to you, as your career is going so well" I can't win, can I??? H also kept on saying " I am improving, right?" Basically, I still don't know what my H is up to. I really don't. Now, I see that he is gearing himself to be totally ALONE! Neither with us nor OW. But, he does have a 'female' friend who is helping him out with accommodation in Country X. Oh Well. I certainly think that my H has issues within that he needs to deal with. And hopefully, he will sort it out when he is in Country X. Hook up with a new friend? Well, despite off all the R talk and OW talk etc, etc. We did ML after our dinner date.
Saturday AM, before I left for my yoga, spoke to H that I promised not to talk about OW again. And that he should just decide that he wants to have the family or not...and not worry about whether we will join him in Country X or not, that he should leave it to me if the time comes. H spent the whole day out today, but did come back to join us for dinner. Even then he seemed rather distant. He did give me a little hug and said "Mmmm, we have been together for quite long, haven't we?" I was like "and?"...Don't know what he is getting at. After dinner, H went to play PS2 with S8. I joined them, I don't know what happened but somehow talked abour R and OW and then H said "I move to Country X and then I will see how I miss more". I was a little gobsmacked and said "What was all the talk about Making things right? When you are still saying things like this? Nevermind!" and I left to go back to my bedroom. H came in after me, and that was our Fight started. I have to say it was not Nice. H was back to his angry self. And told me that "I cannot give you any reassurances! What happened today? I really enjoyed last night" blah blah blah...BUt did calm down enough to ask me for money so that he could play poker. Friends came over for the game. H slept in the guest room this night. I was alseep when he game finished, and felt that he gave me a peck on my cheek before he left to the other room.
Next morning, H asked why are you sooo angry? Answered that I was not. Just indifferent. Kept on asking and asking. H went bowling with the boys and I. But the whole time was feeling restless and all. Asked him if he was gonna be able to look after the boys today and he answered "you should have given me advance notice". Oh well...I am not gonna ask him to do anything anymore. I am sooooo fed-up. Things were cold between us for the weekend, I must say. We did have dinner at our friend's house, and H was like "Are you OK? Are you angry?" I kept my cool...Had a headache last night, and went to bed immediately after we got back. H came by and asked "Are you OK?" and gave me a peck on my lips. I don't know what to think anymore. Basically, I am really fedup with all this. I don't know if I have it in me to continue with the DBING business. At the moment, I don't want to. I am just gonna go Dark...as Dark as I can be with him still living in our house!
From now on, I am not gonna call him, not gonna text, not gonna ask if he is gonna be with the boys. Basically, not gonna care!
I can't win, can I??? H also kept on saying " I am improving, right?" Basically, I still don't know what my H is up to. I really don't. Now, I see that he is gearing himself to be totally ALONE! 
