Thank you everyone for your warnings. I know that I shouldn't be with H just because he doesn't want to be alone. I heard what you are saying ...that he didn't need to learn to fall IN love with OW. Although I don't want to be over-optimistic about all this, but I do see the positive of him recognising that he could learn to fall IN love with me again. It is a conscious decision to WANT to learn, as opposed to shutting off the possibility totally (which was the case 2 months ago). I think alot of these things were also fueled by moi! I was the one that made the comment of the ILYBNIL business a few months back. What I am hearing lately is that he has been repeating what I said to him 4 months ago....so, he did listen (though he was angry, angry, angry then). I thank you all for your concern but I AM treading very very gently. Don't worry about me moving to Country X for H's sake. My parents will be on the TOP of the list to STOP me for making the wrong decisions...as it would involve their grandkids moving...
Journalling... Last night, H came back after the boys were in bed. I was watching the telly. He was rather chatty...telling me that he bumped into one of his ex-girlfriends blah blah blah. He then went to have his shower and proceeded to our home-office. When I finished with my show, I went to say goodnight and saw him IM-ing and have to say that the first thought that flashed in my mind was him IM-ing OW. Didn't say anything and went to bed. Not long, he came in and mumbled something, and told me to read his mail as he didn't quite understand it. I went to read it, and it was about his moving quota, i.e. how much space if sea-freight and how much if air-freight, and he was IM-ing the HR personnel at Country X about this allocation. I have to say that I was slightly relieved. H came back to our bedroom not long after me. We talked a little bit about the allocation and about his ex-gf again. And don't know what happened and we ended up ML
Next morning, i.e. today. I made a bold move. I decided to text him and asked if he wanted to go out for dinner and movie tmrw night...just the two of us. I have to say that I did wonder if that was a wise move. But then, heck..the worse that can happen would be him saying NO...and that won't kill me. Later, over IM, we communicated about this and he said "OK. Will go on a date with you tomorrow". So, it's set.
H called not long later..H called and said that he was on the way to see a customer and would drop by at my office, and if I could take a break from work to eat a snack with him. Of course I jumped at the chance. We talked abit about son's dental appointment, about my new coworker blah blah blah, and then he brought up the allocation for the move. H: The shipping is normally done in one move, i.e. whole family moves together. I have asked them to check what can be done in we move in two different times. Me: I thought the allocation is based on what type of housing you are getting too. H: Yeah. What exactly in part-furnished? Me: As the name suggests, I guessed. Partly furnished with some bulky furniture. H: Let's just say...if you guys move over, are you gonna move all the furniture? You sure want to move the furniture, right? Are we gonna rent out the house? Me: Well, I suppose we will leave some stuff over here as most things cannot be moved at all..or they will collapse. Plus our sofa's so old that moving it is no point. Also, think can buy quite good wooden furniture in Country X. So, might as well leave most furniture over here. H: So...rent out the house with all the furniture? Me: Of course got to store the good pieces. That was it... H dropped me back at my office.
H called again 5 minutes ago...to talk about getting a purifier of some sort for the boys as the air is kinda bad for the last week. It's so hazy that you can hardly see beyond 100 yards.
So, basically, we have not talked or mentioned about OW since Tuesday night's convo....which is quite good. Am gonna continue to act as-if there is no such person...and to make him see that life with me and the boys can be good after all that's happened. H has promised to look after the boys whole day Saturday (Am going out with ex-college mates). I also have a dinner date planned for Sunday with our mutual friends...
