Yoyo don't sound so scared of me it's all done with love. Now stop beating yourself up none of these sitch's are good and we all flounder at times and who know's what is right and wrong all we can do is our best and most of the time you are doing that. I have listened to your advice on the OW about ignoring them and I have pretty much done that but I validate my H about her and be understanding as much as it hurts me. Now I read in one of your posts that you said to H he has to do alot of work to fix the M. Wouldn't it have been better to have said we need to do a lot of work to fix the M. I have realised that my H seeked solace in someone else b/c I wasn't giving him what he needed at home (No I am not talking about s#x) I didn't listen to him enough, didn't make him feel important, didn't give him enough time and didn't take alot of what he said seriously. It has taken me about 6 months to realise that if he was happy with me at home he would not have fallen to OW. So like it says you have to accept 100% of your errors in the 50% that is yours to take blame of. We have to say what they need to hear but we have to mean it too. So all I am saying is if we look at ourselves we can try and work out where we can change and then implement those changes to ourselves and then work on the M. I don't know if this makes sense to you but it is what I realised I had to do in my sitch. Yoyo keep going as your H is truly showing signs that he wants to fix this. Don't let something you may want to hear or a way you expect him to act stop your M being all it can be as maybe your H will never do and say what you want but does it really matter if your M is worthing saving and he wants to do it. My H is not a big romantic and that is something i always wanted him to be but now I realise I have to stop expecting him to be what I want and accept him being who he is as I love him for him and shouldn't want him to change and it is only our time apart that has made me realise I still want him in my life just the way he is....I hope this helps you and I am not going to kick your butt as we all have to deal with our sitch the way we see fit. I am here to support you and to understand you and truly I do understand its really hard but you will luck on to what is right for you. KDU
