glj/KDK - Thanks for your words of encouragement. Frankly, I feel there is not much I can do now other than getting on with my life. GAL, PMA and all...and hopefully, H will come to his senses (clearly!).
Journalling... Sunday - After H left for work (??), I took boys to the mall for bowling. Left at about 1 pm. On the way home, S8 insisted that he wanted to call dad, and did. Missed call. BUt not long later, H called back. S8 telling H to come back now as he promised to play PS2 with him...blah blah blah..and that we are on the way to McD's to get some lunch. Then S8 passed the line to me. Me: We are on the way home, but gonna stop by at McD's to get some lunch. H: Can you get me some chicken too? Me: I thought you are having lunch with XYZ? H: Didn't eat lunch. As a matter of fact, am almost home. Me: Okay
H did come home not long after we did. But went out immediately to get some cigarettes. He came back, and watched a movie with the boys. Then went out to have drinks with his friend. Came back and we talked abit in bed. We were playing a fool abit and then H made a bad bad joke. H: Oh! I can't do it anymore. I just had sex when I went out. Me: Turned away... H: Why are you so angry? It's a joke, okay? Me: It's a bad bad joke. Even if you didn't do it today. The fact that you've had it before is bad. It hurts like hell. Okay? H: Who says that I've had had before? That's why I am so sure that she isn't pregnant. Me: (Quiet) H: I almost made another bad joke. he he he Me: (Whacking him!) Idiot!
Anyway, we went out dinner together. H was commenting that if he couldn't sell his car, he would trade it in for a smaller car. Me: And try to sell the smaller car after that? H: No...you alternate usage of the car and your company car. Me: Oh! I don't know what to make of all this!
This morning, Monday AM. Just before work. We talked about the boys' school holidays and offered for him to take the boys away for a holiday. I didn't say that I would go with him and neither did he. SO, it has been assumed that he would take them himself. I texted him later "I am letting you take the boys away on a holiday in good faith. Pls use this opportunity wisely and not spoil my sons' innocence by bringing her along. Thanks!" I have not got a reply from him yet.
I know that KDU's gonna knock my head. But as far as I am concerned, nothing really has changed. He still isn't sure about US. I really don't want to have my castles being built so high in the air that when it crumbles, I will be devastated. As it is now, I find myself building all these castles and it is really scary if it tumbles now. So, I might as well not build any for the time being.
I will REALLY REALLY have to continue with my GAL and PMA. Lately, my GAL is not that successful...