You think he's in happy camper land? That's for now. Eventually you are going to become so discontented in your sitch, it's going to become very apparant to your H and things are going to blow...it's merely a matter of time if you resign yourself to the role you are contemplating.
This is a BTDT for me the becoming so discontent when I was in my depression stage. And though yes my unhappiness was apparent to all except H. My trying to leave is what made this apparent to him. But it has changed nothing. As long as I am here he is content again I recant it matters not what form of me is here. Vivacouis Chris or despondent Chris he is content and looks no further. I am here that is all that matters.
You've already stated...if you were out of the pic your H finds a substitute for you
Yes for the things life teaches you. Indepence and decision making. Taking care of the kids and so forth. He would rather just hand all that over to someone else then experience them himself just let someone else decide it all. I do not understand this aspect of him it is like he is afriad to try to do for himself.
Here's a question for you. You have lots of issues you admit you need to work on, and you are in an unhealthy (somewhat dysfunctional) R right now, how do you plan on dealing with your issues while in this sitch?
I think the issues are going to have to be dealt with the same way regaurdless. By staying in the marriage I have to face them if I was not in the marriage I would not have to. At least for a long while. I do not see myself running out and getting entwined in another relationship for some time if this marriage was to end. (Not meaning this in a negative way).
It also appears to me that you don't think YOU can do better, or deserve better.
I really do not know if this is a yes I can do better or deserve better or no I cannot and do not issue with me. I really do not look at it in that light.
My H is not a terrible person he is just not the right person for me. I am not a terrible person just not the right person for him IMO.
I sometimes look at others situations on this board and people I knows life and think I am just a ungreatful selfish bitkh. I have no problems of not feeling wanted or desired I have no drunken raging H. I have no something else takes priority over me issues. I have no H that stays in the bars and gives me disease after disease. I have no H is selfish and spends relentlessly on himself or even the he is a lazy bum that does not work and lives of of me issues. Its not like I even have he does not help out with the kids or housework issues non of it. It does not exist in my world. I in essence have a H many people would love to have. And I should be satisfied instead I feel something is lacking so bad that it makes me heartsick. It makes me feel incomplete and lacking not within myself but within life and my R.
People say that you choose who you love. I really do not agree with that. I would choose to be in love with my H not just love him for certian things he does.
My H sends me flowers he buys me gifts he is so about me it is sickening. But in the same breath it is false because he does not notice me the inside me. He will notice if I get a haircut dye my hair gain 5 lbs or go to the tanning bed. But he does not notice a change in behavior if something is bothering me or if something is important to me. I find this unexplainable.
Well gotta end here out of the blue and so oddly my H just asked me if I was happy. Gonna take this as a invite as odd as it is to talk
