I don't mean to be a pain in the butt here...well ok I do. BUT, if you were "reminding yourself" what it was supposed to mean and achieve....you weren't in the moment
I suspect, that you may be a lot like me in one aspect....your mind constantly gets in the way. Try to mentally put all that extraneous crap on the shelf when being intimate with your H and just experience what's going on...don't remind yourself what your trying to achieve etc....just be. It takes some practice and some concious effort at first but you can do this.
