Hi Chrissy... Wow...you have had a tumultuous life, but here on the board, we are all in turmoil of some sort, and can relate to your emotional distress. The disconnection that you talk about is self-protective and sometimes I wish I had more of that; instead I tend to get overwhelmed with anxiety/depression. I am happy to share in your journey of reconnection.
One thing I wanted to comment on was your feeling of loss of innocence...I think a lot of us here would like to climb back to an easier time, a time when we felt loved, secure, safe, happy, joyous. New love offers the promise of all those things...and then life screws it all up. Maybe we need to embrace the messiness of life----the hurts, anger, betrayal, etc. It is all so human.
You awoke a memory of mine...my HS boyfriend and I were very innocent; we were together for 2 yrs, did the prom thing and all---sexually, we were saving the ML for some future, special time. Well, we went off to college to different schools, and in the first week I was swept off my feet (by a boy at the college who seemed so mature....hahaha, but that's another story). Anyway, what did I do? I came home that Thanksgiving to my HS boyfriend ( who lived in the same town), broke up with him, not before I showed him pictures of me and the new guy and telling him how happy I was, really rubbing it in his face.
Thanks a lot, Chrissy, for helping me remember that again,lol. Just letting you know that we all have our demons---things done to us and things we have done to others in this imperfect life. And that little story is just step one of the mess.
So, hopefully, as we share our journeys we will eventually get to a place of health and happiness...well,that's the hope, anyway! Just wanted to let you know I am listening and following along.
