Re: Chrissy I have come to a better understanding of the HD perspective and how they feel. I still can not grasp the whys on some level.
Milk analogy. We are married or sex budies just for this post. I hope I gauge you correctly and you will not be offended. Just trying to add some humor to a serious subject.
Me I like milk(sex). I like chocolate milk better ( i hope you can guess what this is) , You have the chocolate. Somehow, my milk drips in my glass and fills it all of the time. I either drink (orgasam) the milk or it sours(bad feelings). I found this source of choc. It makes the milk more enjoyable. I share something special with my choc supplier when we share milk. She has milk but not as much as me. I get a thrill out of sharing. It gives me a feeling we both get something. When we don't share, I wonder what is wrong with my milk. I thought it was good but if she does not want much I wonder if I have the right milk partner. Did I choose wrongly? Did I change? Did she change? Is milk going out of style? What am I going to do with all of this milk if she does not drink with me? If I don't share, my milk gets sour or spills over, that makes me feel sad.
You, Yes I like milk but this soy stuff is good and water (doing other things- no sex) is just fine.
My milk runneth over sometimes. I dont want it to sour. I dont like the feelings I get with sour milk. I dont like the feelings drinking it plain as much as drinking it with choc.
Maybe too simplistic but sort of a difference isn't it?
This part might relate to your "why the power" stuff: Is milk going out of style? What am I going to do with all of this milk if she does not drink with me?
Some people play cards mostly for the social interaction. Others play cards for points or money and are not interested as much in the social part. They might be calssified as goal oriented. Where the social players are process oriented.
All done, divorce time Chrissy. Thanks for the listening. You are brave for being here.
I hope I gauge you correctly and you will not be offended. 
, You have the chocolate. Somehow, my milk drips in my glass and fills it all of the time. I either drink (orgasam) the milk or it sours(bad feelings). I found this source of choc. It makes the milk more enjoyable. I share something special with my choc supplier when we share milk. She has milk but not as much as me. I get a thrill out of sharing. It gives me a feeling we both get something. When we don't share, I wonder what is wrong with my milk. I thought it was good but if she does not want much I wonder if I have the right milk partner. Did I choose wrongly? Did I change? Did she change? Is milk going out of style? What am I going to do with all of this milk if she does not drink with me? If I don't share, my milk gets sour or spills over, that makes me feel sad.