Do you really need for us to answer that? You already know the answer....read back through your post. My best advice is go with what your gut says. If you don't trust that he can be "cured" within this time frame, and you need time to see he's changed....then go with that. Just because he says he's changed, doesn't mean you have to take him at his word...his behavior has gone on for several years, he shouldn't expect you to say "oh ok, your cured now...I'm all better too." If you can you might want to tell him that as well...you've lived with the threat of his anger & physical harm for quite some time....tell him you will need time to see he has really changed permanently, let his actions support his words.
And...if you go back through your last post, you'll see you haven't let go of your resentment toward him....you still have it, even if it only comes out here (which, usually if it comes out here...it will come out at home too)....but from what I just read you do still harbor it...and it can take a bit of time to let that go. Heck....there are things I resent about my H in our R too LOL.
Can I ask....why you equated your H wanting to play that game with you as you having to choose whether or not you view him as an adult or a child? Perhaps he was truly just trying to have some fun with you....he sees you enjoy a game like that with the kids and thought perhaps he could play with you in a similar manner (just a thought). Of course I wasn't there to see the interaction....but if my H walked up behind me and did that, I wouldn't think of him as a child. Is it more that he appeared needy towards you that made you cringe (skin crawl)?
Also, if you H has been going to anger management counseling...and that is almost over, then this might be a really good time to suggest when that ends that you two go to MC together. IMPO...you both could really benefit from it. I know in my M....I thought my H was the one with all the problems (and he does seem to have the majority of them)...but I've found there are plenty of things I need to work on too....and the C'ing has really helped "our" communication....we now are able to communicate much more clearly with one another, we still have a lot of work ahead, but at least our communication on a daily basis has improved
