Wow that is a tough question. I guess you would have to go back to the fact I barely knew him when I invited him to a party at my house and he never left after that. We were not having sex in the begining. But he was friends with my room mates then boyfriend who was staying with us also.So it was more like he was not just there because of me. I would suggest he leave and he would end up comming right back with my room mates boyfriend. I thought he was nice and all fun to get drunk with but I guess I never looked ahead to decide this is what I want forever. Now that I think about it I was not looking for a long term relationship at the time. I had just gotten my divorce and moved to a new state with a friend and was very carefree so it was a for here and now relationship for me. Until I got pregnant then that changed the dynamics to a degree. And truthfully it was not until after my second son was born that I accepted the long term aspect of the relationship (kids 17 months apart). Pretty shallow reason aye? So really this relationship is the same as my unplanned pregnacys I did nothing to pervent them so they just happened. I have stated in a past post that I had tried to end our relationship several times within the past to always encounter threats of personal violence or him threatening suicide so always relented. For the first few years I would move out or make him move out and he would just threaten harm to himself and others would state he had tried so I would relent. I can look back and see how stupid I was for this. But I cannot change it now. I will just not allow this to be a reason to stay in the future.
All this is not answering your questions directly. And I am at a lose for a answer right now.
What were the qualities that attracted you to your H way back when?
He was cute and fun to party with.
Why did you fall in love with him?
I am really at a lose here. From what I just described above my take would be. My H was like a puppy you see and think adorable so you take it home. Though as the puppy grows it shows behaviors you do not like ie eatting shoes tearing out trash ect. Though you do not like this behavior and wish you no longer had the puppy you do not want to send it to the pound to be put down. You do not want the puppy to come to harm just because you made a mistake by getting it. So you learn to tolerate these things as part of having a dog. With time you get used to the dog always being around and develope a love for it and know that when the dog dies you will oddly miss it.
Can you think back to those reasons and then build on that? Well I could start drinking again. Lol. But in truth from what just spilled forth from me I think it would be better to find other reasons to love him.
HP I want to thank you for these questions. By my shooting from the hip answer with no preponderence. I just realized that from the begining this relationship was not a healthy relationship. Which I knew to be somewhat true but from what just popped into my head as a answer shows it was way more unhealthy then I thought.
Want another example of how different my H and I are, He has said for him it was love at first sight from day one.He knew I was the one he wanted to spend his life with.
