Privacy yes would be nice. I do not get the courtesy of much of this. When my friends and family call me they will ask me in the begining of the conversation if my H is home or not. If he is our conversations are very limited and short. Not that we are talking about anything he should not hear most of the time but they know I hate it when he turns down the volume of the TV so he can listen to my conversations it irks me to no end to be allowed no privacy.
The ones like "I want him to make me leave the house and do something for myself" well......you may as well strike that off your list. We are not put on this earth to MAKE our spouse take care of themselves, kwim
You misunderstood my intent. I do not need him to tell me to take care of myself. I want him to encourage or allow me to do things other then sit in this house or go to the grocery store. That way I will not fear the repercussions I face if I do decide to do something that he is not involved in.
If your husband is anything like mine, he will need your emotional needs spelled out in the most specific terms you can think of. Give examples and time frames.
Our MC had us write our needs out. My H response well as stated to GEL. My want for privacy was a ommission of some guilt of mine of wrong doing I am trying to hide. My need to have experiences in life with and without him. The with he is okay with . Without is another wrong doing on my part since we are married I should want to do everything with him and only him. So again I am up to something or I do not love him. My need for him to rely more on himself and less on me. Again is a sign of my lack of love for him. blah blah on and on.
But do remember that love is a choice--we are not slaves to our feelings.
I am thinking about this one. I have never looked at loving someone as a choice. I have often stated you do not have a choice in who you love. ie I did not choose to love my children it came naturally ,parents,siblings ect. So I will ponder this one a while.
My husband is not the same person I married at all.
Odd is it not your H is not the person you married and this is part of the underlying factor in problems in your sitch. My H is still basically the exact same as he was when we first got together and that is part of the underlying factor in the problems within my sitch. Life heck it is twisted at times.
I am sure that somewhere in one of your threads it states the reason your H shifted so much into his religous beliefs I have not happened across the reason yet though and it always crosses my mind when I read your thread.
Stay on track with the Resurrection. We're not going to let you get down and throw the whole plan in the trash heap.
Thank you for your support! Really with the exception of one or two people in my life you all here are the only support I get in my efforts to overcome all of this. I sometimes feel I am boring everyone with my boxes and demons and such but you guys are great about it. And I have no intention to give up on myself. I am not giving up hope for me. I realize that my self improvement is going to be harder then I thought since I now am aware that I seem to lack some emotional abilitys that seem to be fundamental to function properly in a relationship. But I have just added the finding out why to my to do list.
Remember not to give up your life to your marriage but to let your marriage enhance your life.
Wonder why that is so hard for my H to understand that this is all I want is for my marraige to be a enhancement of my life. Ah well that is on him not me. I understand it.
