I am really just going to look at it with a more reasonable expectation of outcome.
Don't give up quite yet on your H understanding...he hasn't been going to the C for very long... This is only anger management classes the C is only interested in teaching him new ways to control his anger. Not to look from different objectives or see others perspectives. I do not even think they are looking for the source of the anger just a more control of it. The MC we went to last year attempted to make it visible to my H that what we want was different and that it would require give and take to make our relationship work. My H plainly stated he would not give what I want.
When I say to my H I would like you to find something of interest for yourself be it a hunting,fishing,camping trip with friends or a day of golf with a friend. What my H hears is I want him out of the house so I can have wild sex with the neighbors or go streaking through the park.
When I say to my H I want you to be responsible for yourself and to make decisions by yourself. What he hears is I dont love him and want him to leave me alone.
When I say to my H I need a little privacy and quite time. What he hears is I am up to something and trying to hide it.
It does not matter what words are used or who is saying them to him. it does not matter what approach is taken to address the sitch it has no different effect.
I've been doing this for a year...and there are ups and downs to it. I have been actively doing this for 4. The last 14 months have been non stop to no avail.
and I'm going to be optimistic and give him the benefit of the doubt that he wants to and somehow it will happen.
My H does not want to step up to the plate. He wants me to be satisfied with what satisfys him. He has stated so in almost direct words.
I'm hoping I misunderstood something there Nope you got it right it is a threat I live with. Air it self yes is free I guess the benifit I recieve is the ability to still breath it.
IMPO you answered the question You are right there to. That is my answer. It is how at this moment in life I feel there is no emotional benifits for me directly. I know that my H loves me but that is not enough in life for me to just be loved. No more then it is enough for a HD to just be loved without the sexual side added in.
Again I feel right now my mind is just in overdrive. I am just so over taken by dispear of the sitch. I just keep hearing the words echo through my mind. I thought we were good and happy and fixed. The only thing that has changed was letting go of my resentment of his sexual needs and trying to be more understanding of them. Nothing else notta has changed. Now if I was 7 weeks back in time my response to this would be solid proof that my H life revolves around his penis ect. I would go on my man hate mindset I would let the resentment build and flow freely. And be on my as long as your co@k is being stroked you are happy and I do not matter tiraid. But I am not so I guess I really have achieved some personal growth in this area. Because I do not feel this. I feel despondent I feel discouraged but I do not feel resentful in that respect.
