Chrissy, Have you told your H what your needs are?
What was his response?
As I was looking over them, the number one thing that jumped out at me was "privacy". Many of your needs seem to come back to this. Perhaps that will be a good place to start. Make small goals for him. "This week I would like to get a haircut", etc.
The ones like "I want him to make me leave the house and do something for myself" well......you may as well strike that off your list. We are not put on this earth to MAKE our spouse take care of themselves, kwim? A far more reasonable request is: I want to do xyz and I would like to come home to a nice greeting, no smothering, with no questions or accusations.
If your husband is anything like mine, he will need your emotional needs spelled out in the most specific terms you can think of. Give examples and time frames.
He is not meeting your needs now but I am suspecting that he's never really tried. Given that he's in counseling, I'll bet that he will be more open to doing that, than any other time in your marriage.
I know what you mean about this person not fulfilling you. But do remember that love is a choice--we are not slaves to our feelings. If you felt loving feelings for him once, chances are you can do it again. My husband is not the same person I married at all. His entire personality has changed. It hasn't been easy finding reasons to love the new him...he isn't the guy I married, you know? But at the same time, it's not impossible.
Stay on track with the Resurrection. We're not going to let you get down and throw the whole plan in the trash heap. We're in it with you now.
