IMPO....if what you want so badly does not exist in your H, never has, probably never will....then I think you need to really examine the benefits of the R. No one can expect you to stop wanting what you want...it's a need. You need someone who can be more of the things you described....or you wouldn't still be longing for those things.
So...once again, remind me...what are the benefits of this R? Are you willing to live without the things you mentioned in your previous post? Are you willing to live in this status-quo? These are things, I believe, you need to answer. Sometimes taking on questions like these can lead you to the "how" you live with something....or whether you live with it.
