___________________________________________________________ Why are you worried about what his perception of the R is? Aren't you guilty of doing the same thing he does (wanting to possess you) if you want him to think a certain way or be concerned with the same things you are, in the relationship ___________________________________________________________
I feel to stay on track it important to know how he percieves the relationship. In the past he thought we had a good R a great marriage. I felt just the oppisite. I was contemplating ending my life I was so miserable within my self. It was not until I realized that we were in different places and we percieved our M in different lights that that it became a need to fix or possible to fix situation. Running in the dark is not the best way to run a race. Knowing where the other horses are is a important factor that way you are not running in oppisite directions.
And yes I am guilty of the same want to posses me the difference I am entitled after all it is me. I am not him and he is not me. One and one will always equal two it never equals one unless you add subtraction to the equation. My personal self has been the subtracted one to this point by his ownership. But that is the resurrection of Chrissy dynamic.One and one will again equal two is my goal. If not it will be one and one equals two less one equals one and I will be the less one as in done. My self survival is my ultimate goal.
And yes I am guilty of wanting him to find what I feel would make our R important or to at least acknowledge that I feel it is important. But I am not asking for it to become his most important issue. Everyone on this board is saying how they wish there needs and wants were recognized as important to there S. And needed to make that rocky road surpassable.I am no different. If my H does not enable himself to see my needs as important to me (not so much him). Yet I have enabled myself to see his needs that are important to him (not so much me). Then I feel we are at a stalemate of exceptable compromise that will satisfy both of us. I will be filling his love tank while mine is still running on empty. Where is that benifical to me except to take the dangerous dynamic out of the situation. He is in happy camper land I am still in living hell. Not my objective to all my hard work. And takes me to the why would I contine to try aspect of it all.
Okay gotta go just had big crash bang everything flying out of closet eposide and I am the only one here so either have a upset ghost or a hmmm not sure what else I could have going on but gotta go.
