I do the workout routine. Something to improve myself and maybe the wife will notice. 2 bad things though about working our, exercise increases testosterone which increases your sex drive and two, there are attractive women in skimpy clothes working out. Does not help to take my mind off sex.
Normal can also be where at least 50% of all people are. Also, if EVERYTHING is going right, there are no physical problems, no relational problems, no emotional problems, then you WILL have a sex drive. If your don't have a sex drive, there definitely is a reason why you don't. It's just a matter of figuring it out and fixing it (and that can be darn near impossible).
I have to agree with Chrissy on this....do you know of ANYONE in your life where EVERYTHING is going right in their R, if they appear that everything is hunky dory...would they be honest with you and tell you if things weren't? We're all individuals CeMar...therefore there will be conflict, there will be disagreements, there will be differences in taste/frequency/LL's etc.
What you just described, IMPO....is "perfection" in a R (there are no physical problems, no relational problems, no emotional problems.).....very few people actually have this, and I mean very few.
Nobody has everything going right. Also, most HD's have a lot of problems. But guess what, their problems don't cause problems with their sex drive. Can a person have no sex drive and have no "cause" for their LD? Their are a bizillion reasons to be LD. It just seems to me that if you dig deep enough, you will find the cause. Maybe it is chemicals, maybe it is relationships, maybe it is illness, but their is a cause.
There might be a cause, but it shouldn't take over our lives. I think of past relationships that start out so hot and heavy. Can't get enough of each other, wanna do it all the time. Then I start thinking, gee, all this fooling around has really cut into my sleep time, or the dishes are not getting done, or my other friends and familyl are starting to miss me, or a hundred other things that start to float to the surface after that initial hot and heavy period starts to wear off. But I would want my man to stay sweet on me, not get all pissy that real life has interfered in his dream of a perfect sex life. Guide me back gently, help me with my chores, dance with me in the kitchen, play with me so I don't get caught up in the drudgery of it all. Like french kissing, follow me out and lead me back in. (oh it's been a long time)
I think another of my problems is that I come on strong at the beginning. I used to make things so easy for H. I would meet him at work with picnic lunches. I would drive to see him where he lived way out in the country. I did most of the R work at the beginning. I remember showing up in a nice little sundress, very chaste looking then told him what I wasn't wearing underneath it all.
It just gets hard to keep it up when you're the one doing all the work. Fun for him, but what was in it for me? He wasn't doing all the driving. He didn't bring me picnic lunches. I let him get used to me doing all the work and then I got tired of it. So I stopped. I guess that's not fair either, but by then we were married, started having kids, my list of chores was getting longer, or at least my list of excuses, hormones were out of whack...but, I do have to say that he never got the hint that I needed him to pick up some of the slack.
I don't complain, well, here I do, and I don't argue, except here sometimes, but not with H. I think I changed the rules without letting him know. That's not fair of me, but is it ALL my fault?
Does any of this make sense?
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Your sitch sounds pretty familiar, and the fact that you are here indicates that you recognize the problem, and want to do something about it. Those are both very positive signs for making the changes that will help you rebuild your R. So would you describe yourself as LD, or do you think that all of the other things in your life just push having a SL out of the picture?
In my married life I was certainly the LD partner. Now, I'm seeing that I'm pretty normal, it's just that all of the things combined in my M to drive it out of me. I'm thinking that maybe I just didn't like him all that much....but kept doing the things I should to be a good wife, but not such a great lover.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
