Mrs. NOP, you know what? You're right. He is sick. I am sick for staying with him. I'm sure I get something out of it-- but whatever I get is sick.
His behavior is NOT normal... his behaviors are understandable and justifiable, given his background-- but his behaviors are not normal and healthy. He has stopped drinking, but he still smokes. Smoking is not normal or healthy-- lungs were not designed to have smoke sucked into them hundreds of times a day.
I am also not normal or healthy. It is not normal for a woman my age to still be pouring her energy into trying to help someone. What do I get emotionally in return? Very little. I get many Acts of Service, but little affection and no sex. I acknowledge and own that I am sick-- I am in therapy and so is he. The prognosis is questionable.
I do not mind having the label "abnormal" attached to me if it is true. That word does not poke my hot button. I want to know who I am, warts and all. So, Mrs. N, if you have more labels-- I invite you, no, I BEG you, to bring them out. Hold up a mirror to me. You, my anonymous friends, see a side of me that no one else sees. (If it's a long comment, you may want to post on my thread Reclaiming Your Sexual Self). Be angry if you must, but please tell me about myself. I am one sick puppy.
