I actually did just read your entire sitch on the previous linked thread, and I can relate. I'm the HD spouse, and my wife and I have made love exactly ONCE in the last year, and twice in the last three years. No more oral sex, not even affectionate kissing hardly ever anymore.
How do I cope? Masturbation. Trying not to think too much about it. Or, alternatively, PURPOSELY thinking about it, so I'll get angry, and not get wimpy and pursue her. Masturbation. Drink a little (1-2 glasses of wine each nite makes a nice, groggy feeling where you don't think about sex too much). Sleep on the couch, so I don't have to feel her lying next to me, and want her. Do more things on my own, FOR myself. Work out. Masturbate. Try to be thankful for all of the things she IS (a great mother, a good companion, a good cook), and not focus on the things that she is NOT. Read the LDs' posts on this bulletin board, which helps me feel empathy for the issues that my wife has.
Those all help. I do wish you well. It's not a life I would wish on anyone else, but then again neither is the daily fighting, negotiating, bickering, crying, yelling, etc., that I see others going thru (who are working on it).
