Thanks so much for the kind posts. They really mean a lot to me.
KML and Martha, ah, yes, I needed reminding that h is scared, too. I think I was just so taken aback at how irked he seemed with me that it bummed me out big time! (Didn't help that it reminded me of dday, either). I do think that he was overwhelmed with the fact that I was overwhelmed...
WCW and amd, I TOTALLY agree with you that h needs a break, too. When I posted sat. night he was out at a friend's house...the first time he's gone out socially since this all happened. I've been encouraging him to go out but I think part of the problem is that h likes to relax AT HOME, with the TV on, in his recliner. I think the fact that I'm here all the time now us cuttung into his relaxation/alone time...and he had a fair amount of it before this all happened. He started school again today so he'll be getting out of the house, at least. I've tried to be very good about letting him relax as much as possible.
Luckily, we have had quite a bit of help...mostly in the food department. We have a freezer full of home made stuff from my dad and MIL downstairs. AWESOME. Now we just need to get better about asking for visitors for me or even more importantly, folks to do simple errands, etc.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Glad to hear that things are getting better! I also really like to relax at home, so I can see where getting out would be hard for your H. Maybe you should teach him about doing 180s.
I hope you are doing better. I wanted to stop by and say Hi.
Thinking of finally leaving the bb and want to thank you again for everything. Actually thought I was far enough along that coming into Piecing would not bother me but did still bring tears to behind my eyes.
Take care and best of wishes with your wonderful family and future.
Love you very much and you will always hold a special place in my thoughts.
Take very good care of yourself, you are one special lady.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Sage, I hate to bug you, but if you have a moment and are not in labor, would you stop by my thread and put in your 2 cents? I think my H may be waking up, and I'm not sure what to do. Only if you have time, though. Thanks!
Hi Sage - We are thinking of you! Just noticed another thing that H and NG have in common
I've been encouraging him to go out but I think part of the problem is that h likes to relax AT HOME, with the TV on, in his recliner.
Lately, if I have not organised an outing, we do not go out at all. We both work for companies that encourage us to work from home unless there are client meetings. That's a LOT of time together at home I hear ya. Hope you are able to move about at least. Another 3 months?
I've never posted on your thread, but I check on it and on your responses to others. You have been through so much and give wonderful advice.
I'm sorry you're on bedrest. As someone else said, it sounds like heaven till you do it. I was so tired with my D9 that I kept thinking "If only I could sleep all day and not work." And then I went on bedrest for 6 weeks! Not so great, actually. But at least it's for a good reason; I mean you're not sick with an awful flu or anything.
How wonderful that H actually said he was glad you didn't diovorce him! What a lovely payoff for all your hard work!
Sage, I want to ask for you advice. How do I know if the really tiny babysteps I see my H taking are b/c he really cares about me and is drawing closer, or b/c he feels guilty? I am seeing a little bit of progress, but someone just posted on my thread that he thinks a lot of WAS do nice stuff out of guilt, which I tend to agree with. At least, in my case. So, how do I know if I'm not getting my hopes up for nothing? If you have any ideas, I'd appreciate hearing them.
All the best, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
Just checking in . I've been lurking a bit, posting here and there.
Things here are good. Monday is 6 weeks on bedrest (I'll be 31 weeks) with 6 more to go (though they'll probably give me a few more privileges at 34 weeks). Everything continues to look good, stable. Baby girl is growing and moving around lots and getting lots of good vibes from her mom and dad.
Home is going well. We've had only mild skirmishes and we have rebounded from them nicely. It's actually been quite hard at times but we learned so much from DB'ing and the crappy time that we have so many more positive reserves now. I can't imagine how we would have done if we hadn't gone through the crisis of DDAY and the bomb and all. I'm planning on rereading DR in the next week or so just to make sure that I'm still on track.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I'm glad things are going well for you, H and Baby Girl. I hope you aren't too bored!
Thanks for checking in on my thread. I think that H and I are getting to be friends again. While I know that I should be (and am) glad of that, it is also hard to hold back and not scare him off like I did a couple of months ago. But I am staying patient! It's also hard b/c I want to much to move forward faster from being friends to being lovers. But I guess that takes time (although it happened pretty quickly when we first met ).
Sending more good vibes your way.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
I'm WAY late to this party. First of all, let me be the very last (!) to congratulate you! It's so way cool. I won't gush on. But it's amazing.
I'm probably projecting all over the lot here, but I found that when I was pregnant I was SO sensitive to any lack (perceived or real) of affection on S.'s part. It made me resentful, I was always thinking "But *I'M* the pregnant one!" Granted, S. is probably way lower on the great-partner totem pole than your H is.
I think that pregnancy and early motherhood in general are times when you are ultra-needy (and maybe not so aware of the extent of it) and ultra-sensitive to any slight of caregiving.
May the rest of your pregnancy go as smoothly as possible - in my opinion, a baby girl is the biggest gift of all. No slight to you baby boy people, but my god, a little baby girl is the most amazing, awesome treasure.
Glad things are going well with the baby and home is able to be worked through thanks to DB.
Thought I would let you know I ended up staying around as I know you don't get to Surviving. I still miss my Piecing days in a way, but my life is less stressful in some ways now.
Take care and best wishes.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
I hear ya. Hope you are able to move about at least. Another 3 months?
. I've been lurking a bit, posting here and there.