Looking backward but only to move forward FIVE

[sage]

KAW, How great to hear from you! I'm sorry that there have been highs and lows for you and CAW but to be sore, it's to be expected and it truly sounds as though things are in a good space and moving in the right direction.

It would be great to see you start a new thread - what an inspiration for everyone on the bb but I totally understand how hard it is to find the time.

Take good care!!

Sage

[sage]

PIB, Wow, how amazingly wonderful everything sounds for yoou...such is the byproduct of all your hard work!!!!

Congrats on your dd (our girl will be a year younger than yours), grad school, your promotion, your writing, and, of course, your wonderful marriage! did you ever think????

I took your suggestion and tried out the pillows -- what a difference! I also ordered some larger ones on line today...7 weeks in bed is sure to take its toll.

Come back and visit often!

Sage

[kml]

Sage - oh, I feel your pain!!!! I spent 6 weeks at bed rest when pregnant with S19 (then went 2 weeks overdue and had to be induced!!!). Nothing like pumping you full of terbutaline (an adrenaline-like drug) then telling you to stay in bed! I thought I'd get all kinds of productive writing and reading done - but no, it turns your brain to mush!

Ellie

[IAChild]

Sage,

Seven weeks?!? Oh dear, I am so sorry, my friend! Please know that you and your H are in my thoughts and prayers.

What are you planning on doing to occupy yourself during this time?

M

[sage]

Hi all,

Still surviving on bedrest

kml -- kind of ironic huh to lie in bed only to go past one's due date??

WW -- well, actually, I'm lucky that I can work from home so during the week I'm quite (too?) busy. The rest of the time I read or knit or do puzzles or hang out on the computer. I can say...it's a good thing I learned meditation and CALMED DOWN when the bomb dropped because that has helped a great deal.

BUT..it's still hard between h and I although he's being great (with the exception of last night..). He's totally holding down the fort, cooking, cleaning, doing all the errands. Yesterday I had a dr's appt and it was disappointing...no improvement from last week, in fact some backsliding...I spent the day weepy and h just lost it at the end of the day...saying my dark cloud mood might be harming the baby and why was I worried when the dr wasn't, etc.

It sucked and reminded me of the bomb dropping ("do you think I'd pick someone like you? someone who worries and obsesses over everything?") but I didn't throw THAT in his face...just tried to explain how overwhelming this all is for me...how responsible and scared I feel (plus, try spending 24 hours in bed everyday with no exercise, no shower, looking like crap and totally dependent -- how's your mood now?).

This morning he was completely apologetic and loving...but it kind of scared me. I don't WANT to revert to that "old" Sage who worried about everything but this FEELS different to me...it feels warranted...I dunno.

Anyway, we're fine, baby is kicking up a storm. I'm going to be 28 weeks on Monday which is a good milestone.

TTYL,
Sage

[kml]

Sage -
He's worried too, and when you start to lose it, it probably terrifies him. My H isn't so hot in the comforting department either - but I've learned that if I tell him exactly what I need ("I need you to sit here and rub my head and tell me things will be okay") he does pretty well. Guys just can't handle the frustration when they don't know how to fix something.

Yeah, I went to 42 weeks - the next year, my best friend had her first son at 36 1/2 weeks after 2 hours of labor. When I figured out her pregnancy was almost a month and a half shorter than mine, I was STEAMED!

Ellie

[WCW]

Bedrest sounds like heaven! until you have to do it. Takes all the fun out of it then. Your H sounds like he's working hard to take care of everything, and that's not easy on him either. Does he get any outside support to take a night off? I know how hard it is for you, I also know how hard it is to be on the opposite side and taking care of everything. Just a thought. 28 weeks, yeah!

[IAChild]

Sage,

I was going to weigh in here, but Ellie took the words right out of my mouth. She's right; he's scared too. And pregnancy is something so alien to a Martian -- it's just totally out of their realm of experience the first time around.

Come on Monday!

Martha

[amd]

WCW has a good point about him needing to take some time off too. Could you guys hire someone to come in once or twice while you're in this situation and clean for you--or maybe a group of friends could do it as a favor? I'm thinking of a book I read where the author had a newborn and a man from church showed up at her door one day with instructions from his wife to do whatever chores the author needed done. She asked him to clean the bathroom, and he did, and it was such a relief for her.

Also, around here (western WA), there are businesses that do prep work for dinners--you buy so many dinners, they do all the chopping, etc., and you assemble the dinners in containers. You end up with all these meals ready to go in the freezer. It is a major time/ effort saver. Is there something like that around you that you could get people to do for you?

I realize that it sounds like a lot of asking, but right now I think it's OK for both you and H to reach out for support. You're not going back to old habits, you're pregnant and grounded, and H is exhausting himself, and you're both stressed out. You two need to give yourselves a break however you can.

[WCW]

Whew, thanks for the back up amd! I suggest that H could use a break too just because I've been on that end myself. Caring for someone while they couldn't do it for themselves, as well as take on all of their responsibilities. And my mom was there as well when my stepdad had many heart surgeries. Everyone swooned around him while my mom was barely coping for herself. I tried to be there for her too, and she really appreciated that. So, just maybe, like amd said, there's someone around that could give H a night off, and he could spend it how it he wants, or - sitting at your bedside keeping you company! I really do empathize with you, I was laid up for just a couple weeks a few years ago and it drove me nuts!