Looking backward but only to move forward FIVE

[sage]

How are the horomones affecting your DBing?

TBH, things have been mighty challenging. Some of it is definitely the hormones/related physical changes and all that results from those. Pretty much every day I feel like bursting into tears by day's end...partly I guess because I'm tired and partly, well, I don't know why...it's a physical reaction to ???? That sensitivity doesn't make my homecoming from work (already a touchy time sometimes) that smooth all the time.

I'm not sure I can blame it all on the "hormones" per se, but more on the notion that pregnancy has reawoken (? is that even a word?) the worrier in me and the control freak in me -- two parts of my self that contributed a fair amount to the trouble in my M and two parts that I had actually done a pretty good job of quelling -- I'm not saying I never worry or never try to control but DB'ing (and lots of other hard work) had really helped me with some related behaviors that were making things hard in my m....now, though, I'm occasionally mentally overwhelmed by worry on a variety of topics and that leads to my bringing out the "let's just do it my way" persona.

And, while the above represents the "doing more (the problem!) of what DOESN'T work", we've also had less opportunity to "do more of what DOES" -- fewer "dates", less PI, less just relaxing time....add too many negatives and not enough positives and well, you need a DB refresher course!

I'm not going to sign up for it ALL being "my fault", though..I'd say that h is probably got HIS equation a bit unbalanced as well...possibly due to the pregnancy, possibly due to feeling overwhelmed at school, etc. But I know enough now to know that changing MY dynamic may well go a long way to changing his.

Definitely don't walk away thinking it's all tears and fighting over here...it definitely isn't. Partly it's my heightened awareness of what works and what doesn't that is making me overly sensitized to the recent increase in "what doesn't" so you're hearing some of that...and as I mentioned before, we have been far more likely to recover quickly, talk about what's going on, etc. All a direct result of DB'ing and the years of hard work we put in. It just FEELS easier now to separate the "here's what I contributed" from the overall mess and work on THAT and let h do the same.

Sage