Looking backward but only to move forward FIVE

[sage]

So how do you make H feel needed? I am focusing on his needs as much as I can, but I'm still looking for practical ideas to help me do this. I ask for help getting high things down, for hauling heavy things, etc. This seems so superficial, but he's happy to do them. I feel like I also need deeper stuff, so I ask for advice about work. What else do DBing women do to address this? It feels like a weird question to ask, but obviously I wasn't doing such a hot job before.

Amd -- I only have a few minutes but I'll give your question a try...I find that it helps to think about ways I DON'T make him feel a certain way and then try to turn it around...can you think of 5 ways you make h feel unnecessary?

Like...

I make decisions about the house without consulting him (kids/work/life)

I make decisions about what we're going to do/eat/movie to see without consulting him.

I DO ask for his advice and then ignore it.

I DO ask for his advice and then "slightly edit it" to make it mine.

ETC.

Have you read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"??? There's quite a bit in there about making your h feel needed and appreciated.

Also, perhaps you are doing the right things now but it isn't enough time?

Finally, small things make a difference "What should we have for dinner?" (and then having exactly what he says), "Which brand of toilet paper do you want", etc....all everyday stuff that reminds him he's an integral part of your life.

Sage