The Marriage Breakthrough & chronic illness

[Jamesjohn]

When a chronic emotional or physical ailment enters into a marriage, it definitely takes it’s toll, and greatly affects both parties involved. It seems to throw that whole “50/50” deal out of the window, at least for awhile anyway. Even if it doesn’t get all the way back to 50/50, there can be ways to maximize the contributions that both can bring to the marriage. Making the necessary changes and adjustments can be tricky it seems, but it is possible.

If you are the “ill spouse”, what things are you doing to take care of yourself? What things are you doing that either help to alleviate your condition and symptoms, and what things are you doing that might be making them worse? What things should you be doing more of, and what things should you be doing less of? What are some of the things you “can’t do” versus what you “won’t do” for yourself? How does your partner know the difference between these two?

If you are the “well spouse”, again, what things are you doing to take care of yourself? What things are you doing to “put your oxygen mask on first” that will help you to help your partner? What activities, outside of caring for your partner, are you involved in that help to give you strength, and to give yourself a break?

Yes, this can be a very big, and important, topic for discussion! Currently being in the position of the “well spouse” myself, this is a subject I am close to. The above is just a “short list”, but it might be a place to start from. Remembering the basics of DB’ing is being “solution-oriented” can give us a great base to work from. Looking forward to hearing more from others on this!