In the process of divorce

[kaydeekay]

I've been on the Infedility board, but sadly I have to move over to this board.

My sitch:
M: 40
H: 34
D11
M: 11 years
OW

I don't know how to add my old thread but it's listed under the Infedility board under "H is confused."

H and I married for 11 1/2 years, together for 13 1/2 years. We originally S in October 2004. He moved back in the home four different times since then with the last move in May. H involved with OW since November of 2004. Found out about OW (who he worked with) in March. Since April he was moving back and forth between our home and the OW's home (whom he signed a lease with). I did a great job (at least I thought) of DBing, GAL, being attentative to him and everything. Maybe was too nice and let him treat me like a doormat. He said all the right things, I love you, I want to work on our M, I'm through with OW, blah, blah, blah.

Around the end of June, H lost job (OW had a hand in that and told all kinds of lies on him). He said he was through with OW but still had feelings for her and that he still loved her. He snuck off to OW's house to talk to her about what she had done to him about his firing. I got fed up with him sneaking off so I went to OW's house to confront him. He told OW that he still loved her but he wanted to work on our marriage. She got mad and made him leave, but in the process of being mad she scratched him on the neck and punched him in the face. The next day he retaliated and destroyed some petty items that she had on her porch. She files a restraining order against him. But this idiot H of mine still wanted to be with her!!!

H tells me on July 6 that he wants to move forward with the diovrce. I was not emotional and I told him okay. He moves out a couple of days later. A week later the OW drops the restraining order on H.

H files for divorce on Monday. Today he gives me the divorce petition today and wanted me to sign a waiver saying I agreed with the petition. What he doesn't know is that I filed a cross petition on his petition today. (I went to the courthouse on Monday to get a copy and gave it to my atty who drew up the cross petition).

I feel like sh!t right now. I knew he filed because he told me and showed me his copies of the petition on Monday. I want to move on with my life, but I still want my old H back; not the selfish man he is today. He is so cold and impersonal with me now.

Can someone give any advice on how to get through this? Has anyone had the divorce filed but then the WAS decides that they want to work on their M? Or should I just give up all hope that my H may change his mind and not want the divorce?