I think we go on and on with the words because we're hoping that something we say, or the way we say it, will somehow magically resonate and they'll get it. It's just one of those cheeseless tunnels MWD talks about. I have pretty good arguing skills ( my father was a lawyer and I have some of that feistiness) but it just doesn't work on H. He just withdraws more.
I have another " me too" for you--- when I started feeling sexual again a few yrs ago, I thought my H would be thrilled; after all these yrs I unlocked the mystery of my vanishing sex drive and I really felt like riding a bike again ( so to speak) and H just wasn't interested. Here I am, pushing to help him( and myself) get past all the relationship damage, and he is withholding. We get past that, but still something has changed, and it's permanent...we just can't go back again.
I think it's good for you to take a break, take some time for yourself, and decide not to engage in this push-pull dynamic. It takes some time to resolve yourself to a new reality( which will include new happiness)...and I am so sorry for the loss. I am there with ya.
Hope D3 recovers soon....huggs to that little one!
